Introduction

Xiao or being good to parents and ancestors is a basic tenet of traditional Chinese society and therefore fundamental to the Chinese heritage. It is not possible to understand traditional Chinese society, Chinese history, or the Chinese heritage in general without some understanding of xiao. Further, once one understands the true meaning of xiao, one will realize that it is suitable and beneficial for not only China and Chinese, but also for the world and everyone in it.

The True Meaning of Xiao

How to be good to parents is thought by most people to be pretty obvious, to be something they already know how to do, but actually it's not necessarily obvious, nor is it necessarily something they already know how to do.

First, how can one be good to already deceased ancestors? Do they still possess consciousness? Does xiao require that we believe in spiritual beings and a supernatural world? No, Confucianism's xiao does not have a religious prerequisite and is compatible with any religious belief or lack of belief. To be good to ancestors is, first and foremost, to be good to their memory and their name. Whether one thinks that ancestors still possess consciousness, or are to be prayed to, is up to the individual; whether one believes that the ancestors' spirits exist or not is not that important, as long as one is good to their memory and their name, then the same kind of conduct consistent with xiao naturally appears. And conduct that is good to one's ancestors' memory and name is conduct that is good, conduct that is moral, and includes conduct in all aspects in life.

Actually in Confucianism being good to one's parents, like being good to one's ancestors, is also, first and foremost, being good to their name and reputation. Again, that means that xiao guides all of one's conduct toward what is good, including conduct while at one's post at work, not just conduct involving direct contact with one's parents.

Here we must make clear that conduct involving direct contact with one's parents like respecting parents, looking after the daily living of parents , and supporting and caring for aged parents, is very important in Confucianism. This is conduct where offspring know and repay the kindness bestowed by parents and sensed directly by the offspring, kindness such as loving the offspring, looking after the daily living of offspring, and raising and educating offspring while they come of age. Knowing and repaying kindness is a fundamental principle guiding relations among people in Confucianism, a fundamental traditional Chinese ethic, and of course an important integral part of xiao.

Because, however, xiao's first principle is to be good to the name and reputation of parents and ancestors, therefore the authoritative Confucian classic Xiao Jing does not expound xiao as only a fine ethic where one repays the kindness of parents in raising and educating one, or as a "filial (son's) piety" state of mind as the West's prevalent translation of xiao would have one believe, but as a way of life. Xiao is a way of life that makes people behave as good persons and live moral lives.

Xiao Is the Guarantee of Civil Society and Moral Conduct

If everyone follows this way of life, a good society will naturally result. That is how xiao causes a society to be civil and people's conduct to be moral. Therefore, in the original classics of Confucianism, especially in Xiao Jing, xiao is the basis of civil society itself and the guarantee of moral conduct.

With xiao, even if one does not believe in an afterlife or that there is an omniscient God who always knows whether one is doing right or wrong, one will do good and not evil even in the face of adverse consequences because to fulfill one's relationship-defined obligations to one's parents and ancestors, i.e. to carry out xiao, one must contribute to keeping the family name good and not besmirch it. And that family name goes on, even after one's life is over. Thus, with xiao, people with no religion or even atheists will also be good people, will also make sacrifices for what is moral and just.

Because in traditional China xiao has been the pillar of good order and good behavior in society, therefore even emperors must possess xiao in order to possess legitimacy as rulers. In fact, the posthumous honorific titles of almost all Chinese emperors, except some early ones and the founders of dynasties, include the word xiao^{Note 1}. By the way, this again shows that one cannot understand historical China without understanding xiao.

For an authoritative description by Confucius of xiao as a way of living a good life, being a good person and bringing about a good society, please click here to read: Xiao Jing (with English translation and commentary).

Three Reasons Why Xiao Is So Important

So the reasons why traditional China has placed so much importance on xiao may be summarized as the following three points:

1. Xiao leads people to persist in good behavior because to be xiao one must be good to the reputation of one's parents and the name and memory of one's ancestors.



2. Xiao leads people to become good people, because when one respects and treats one's parents and ancestors well, one also learns to respect and treat other people well, and will then naturally become a good person. For example, the emperor who is xiao naturally extends his respect and good treatment of his parents to his subjects. In this way when enough people in a society practice xiao, that society becomes a civil and moral one.



3. Xiao leads people to "know kindness (zhi en" and "repay kindness (bao en)". From knowing the kindness of parents and repaying their kindness one learns to know the kindness of others and repaying their kindness. And this knowing and repaying kindness is an important part of a person's basic conscience, as well as an important part of the basic principle underlying human relations in human civilization and the operation of human civilization itself. From the modern point of view, this basic principle, a principle upon which human civilizaion has relied to come into existence and to continue existing, is that people must, in order to help each other by each doing different work, exchange mutually beneficial actions and objects. Knowing and repaying kindness is an important integral part of this principle of mutually beneficial exchange.

Xiao Is Suitable for Modern China and the Entire World

The above three points make xiao not only suitable for and beneficial to traditional China throughout history, but also suitable for and beneficial to modern China. Today's China still badly needs a guarantee as strong as what xiao has historically provided, of the civility of the social order and the morality of people's behavior.

As for being suitable for the world, xiao is not based on any one religion and so is compatible with any religion. Historically, Imperial China, which holds xiao as its basic belief, has been compatible with and has taken in many religions and their adherants, religions such as Islam, Christianity, Zoroastrianism, Judaism, and so forth. The tenet of xiao does not have any fundamental conflict with any religious doctrine, and can be accepted into and complement any religion's doctrine. For example, traditionally the Christian churches in China have always mentioned and stressed xiao, unlike those in the West. Buddhism, which comes from India, once rooted in China, also comes to stress xiao. Therefore xiao and its three points mentioned above is compatible with any society or country in the world.

Even when that society or country already has a fairly effective belief system to guarantee the civility of the social order and the morality of people's behavior, such as a very widely practiced religion, xiao can still complement and strengthen this guarantee. With xiao a religious society will become even more civil and the people will become even more moral.

At the individual level, the same benefits hold for a religious person.

At the same time, since xiao is not religious, it is also compatible with a society that is not that religious. Indeed, although traditional China has not been an atheist society and people have generally believed that "look three feet up and there's god" and that "retribution will take place whether it's during this life or the next", the practice of religion and the worship of god have not constituted the main activities that govern society, nor have organized religion and priests held socially recognized political power or ruling positions. Traditional China has, very uniquely in the history of world civilization, been a society that hasn't been very religious. Yet xiao has not only been compatible with but has also been a guiding principle for this society.

Likewise, at the individual level, the tenet of xiao is compatible with anyone who is not that religious or is even atheist.

So, xiao is suitable not only for traditional Chinese society for the last several thousand years, not only for modern Chinese society today, but also for the whole world and everyone in it. With today's decline in morals and ethics, xiao is more needed than ever.

Xiao Has Been Wrongly Denigrated During Modern Chinese History

Unfortunately, over the past century xiao has been so denigrated by various intellectual forces that it is now identified in many Chinese people’s minds with yu xiao (愚孝), i.e. foolish or blind xiao. Especially since the 1920’s, blind xiao is laughed at and considered along with yu zhong (愚忠), i.e. foolish or blind loyalty, to be the reasons for China being backward and poor despite all the thousands of years of civilization. Mention xiao to a Chinese person today, and chances are he or she will either not know the word at all or think that it means blind obedience to parents. Sigh!

To make matters worse, there is some truth in the charge of foolish blind xiao: since the 1000’s C.E. during the Song Dynasty, there has been an intellectual movement lasting several centuries to convert xiao and Confucian teaching in general from a set of practical and reasonable tenets into a metaphysical cult of absolutes and excesses. Besides an almost god-like worship of one's parents while they are still alive, there are other errors. For example, the version of the book The Twenty-Four Xiao (“二十四孝”) published in 1604 during the Ming Dynasty under the emperor’s patronage, has a story supposedly about exemplary xiao where the protagonist, in order to spare food for his parents, goes to kill his own son.

This kind of “exemplary xiao” is completely opposite to Confucius’ original teachings. Xiao demands valuing the next generation very highly: to not have offspring is to be extremely un-xiao to one's parents and ancestors. Also, the flip side of xiao by the offspring is kindness by the parents: qin ci zi xiao (親慈子孝), i.e. “parents be kind; sons be xiao.” Confucius says in Xiao Jing that looking after one’s own body and health is the beginning of xiao. This proves how much the parents and ancestors in Confucianism love their descendants: the beginning of being good to parents and ancestors, i.e. xiao, actually is for the descendants to look after themselves well! How can xiao allow the killing of the descendants, the grandchildren, to spare food for the grandparents? Xiao absolutely cannot. That "exemplary xiao" is totally aberrant.

While during the two hundred years of early and mid-Qing Dynasty (1640’s to the 1840’s) reasonableness is somewhat restored by the popularization of such tracts as Di Zi Gui (弟子規) and a general intellectual trend away from the cultish excesses of the previous five centuries or so, some cult-like thinking has still revolved around xiao, and is partly responsible for the vulnerability of the entire concept to wholesale attack and denigration during the twentieth century.

Today, such erroneous cultish excesses belong to the past; we must not treat them as integral parts of xiao. What we need to revive today is the meaning that Confucius has originally set for xiao in Xiao Jing and the tremendous positive role that xiao has always played historically in China.

Conclusion

We think that xiao is indeed a most important foundation of civil society and a strong guarantee of moral behavior, is much needed by everyone, not just Chinese, and is suitable and beneficial to both China and the world today. To revive xiao, we have started this xiao webpage. Please peruse and feel free to send us your valued comments.

引言

孝，即對父母和祖先好，是傳統中國社會的根本信條，中華文化遺產的基本部分。不了解孝，就不可能了解中國傳統社會、中國歷史、或中華文化遺產本身。同時，當了解孝的真正意義時，就會知道，孝不但適合和有益於中國及華人，而且也適合和有益於全世界及所有的人。

孝的真正意義

我們首先解說一下孝的真正意義。

對父母好很多人都以為很簡單，自己已經知道應該怎樣做，其實，並不一定簡單，可能完全不知道應該怎樣做。

首先，怎樣對已經過世的祖先好呢？他們難道還有知覺嗎？難道孝要求我們信仰神靈和超自然世界嗎？不，孔教的孝，沒有宗教的必需前提，是可以跟任何宗教的信仰或沒有信仰相容的。對祖先好首先就是要對他們遺留下來的名聲好。認為他們還有沒有知覺，需不需要禱告，任由个人決定；相信祖先有靈也好，沒有靈也好，總之只要對他們遺留下來的名聲好，那麼同樣的、符合孝的行為就會出現了。而要對祖先的名聲好，就必須要所有方面的行為都好、都合乎道德。

同時，孔教裡，對父母好跟對祖先好一樣，也是首先要對父母的聲譽好，而要對父母的名聲好，就跟對祖先的名聲好一樣，就必須要所有方面的行為都好、都合乎道德。所以孝所引導向善的，是人們的全部行為，包括在工作崗位的行為，而不僅只是直接與父母接觸時的行為。

當然，直接與父母接觸時的尊敬父母、生活上照顧父母、奉養年老的父母等行為，孔教是非常重視的。這都是子女知道而報答父母恩典的行為，子女報答直覺上可以體會到的父母愛護子女、生活上照顧子女、教養年幼的子女等恩典。而知恩報恩，是孔教關於人與人之間關係的基本原則，是基本的傳統中華美德，也同時是孝的重要組成部分。

但是，孔教的權威性經典《孝經》並不把孝解說為只是限於報答父母養育之恩的美德，或者是一種“子女虔誠”的心態（當今西方普遍把孝譯為“兒子的虔誠”），而是因為孝首要是對祖先和父母的名聲好，所以《孝經》把孝解說為一個生活方式，是一個做好的人、過好的一生的生活方式。

孝是文明社會和道德的保障

如果人人都遵守孝這個生活方式，好的社會就會自然構成了。這樣，孝令到社會文明、人們行為合乎道德。因此，在孔教的原本經典裡，特別是在《孝經》裡，孝是文明社會本身的基礎、人們行為合乎道德的保障。

有了孝，連不信來世存在的人，不信無所不知、審判善惡的神明存在的人，都會做好事而不做壞事，雖然有時做好事會帶來不利的後果，因為要履行對父母及祖先的義務和責任，要行孝，就一定要保持家聲，不讓它被污垢。而這個家聲是長久的，個人的生命過去後家聲還是延續的。有了孝，沒有宗教的人，甚至信仰無神論的人，也一樣會做善良好人，也一樣會為正義作出犧牲。

因為傳統中國裡，孝是社會好秩序和好行為的支柱，所以連皇帝都必需擁有孝，才能擁有統治者身份的合法性。事實上，幾乎所有中國皇帝，除了中國歷史早期的皇帝和創始朝代的皇帝以外，謚號都有個孝字^注1。順便說，這再次證明，不了解孝，就不可能了解歷史上的中國。

要細看孔子的權威性解說，對父母和祖先好是怎樣會使人們做好的人、過好的一生、構成好的社會，就請在這裡點擊讀看：《孝經》(附英語翻譯和解說)。

使孝非常重要的三項理由

所以，傳統中國這麼重視孝，原因可以總結為以下的三項：

1. 孝引導人們堅守好的行為，因為要行孝就首先要對父母的聲譽和祖先遺留下來的名聲、家聲好。



2. 孝引導人們做好人，因為當人們學到了對父母和對祖先尊敬和善待時，也同時學到了怎樣對所有人尊敬和善待，便會自然地變為一個尊敬他人、善待他人的好人。例如，行孝的皇帝自然會把對父母的尊敬和善待延及到臣民身上來。這樣，當社會有足夠的人行孝，就會自然地變為文明的和有道德的社會。



3. 孝引導人們“知恩”和“報恩”：由對父母的知恩和報恩學到了對其他人的知恩和報恩，而知恩報恩是人們基本良心的重要組成部分，也是文明社會裡，人與人關係及社會運作基本原則的一个重要組成部分。這個人與人關係及社會運作的基本原則，就是人們之間要交換互利互惠的行動和物品，分工合作，人類文明社會才能成立起來和延續下去，而知恩報恩就是這個互利互惠原則的重要組成部分。

孝適合現代中國和全世界

上述這三項不但曾經適合和有益於歷史上的傳統中國，而且仍適合和有益於現代的中國。當今的中國，社會秩序的文明和人們對道德的遵守，仍然非常需要一個好像孝那樣有力的保障。所以，在中國恢復孝的傳統重要地位是最合適不過的了。

至於適合世界，孝是不基於某一個宗教的，可以跟任何宗教相容。歷史上，以孝為基本信條的帝皇朝代中國，曾經跟過多種宗教及其信徒相容共處，例如伊斯蘭教、基督教、拜火教、猶太教等。孝這信條，跟其他宗教沒有根本衝突，可以受其他宗教接納，用來補充教條。例如中國的傳統基督教會就跟西方的基督教會不同，就一向都提及和強調孝。從印度傳來的佛教，在中國樹了根之後，便變為也強調人倫和孝了。所以孝和上述的孝三項，可以跟全世界任何社會或國家相容。

儘管一個社會或國家，已經擁有相當有效的信仰系統來保障社會秩序文明、保障人們遵守道德，例如很普遍信奉的宗教，但是孝仍然可以把這保障補充和加強。加上了孝，普遍信奉宗教的社會會變得更文明、人們會變得更遵守道德。

在個人方面，孝對一個信仰宗教的人來說，也起着同樣的好作用。

同時，孝是不基於宗教的，所以亦可以跟不很重視宗教的社會相容。事實上，傳統的中國社會雖然不是無神論的社會，人們普遍相信“舉頭三尺有神明”和“報應今生不報來世報”，但是宗教和信奉神並不屬於支配和統治社會的主流活動，宗教組織和神職人員也沒有社會認可的政治權力或統治地位。傳統中國在世界文明史裡就很獨特地是一個不大重視宗教的社會，而孝在這社會裡不僅受到相容，而且還擔任了主導地位。

同樣地，在個人方面，孝可以跟不很重視宗教或甚至信奉無神論的人相容。

所以，孝不僅適合經歷了幾千年的傳統中國社會，不僅仍然適合現代中國社會，而且適合全世界的社會，也適合全世界的人。現在道德沈淪，孝比以前更為人們所需要。

孝在近代中國曾被錯誤地否定

不幸，近一百年來，孝被很多股思維勢力所否定，令到今天孝在很多華人心目中變成只是“愚孝”。特別是1920年代以來，跟“愚忠”一起，愚孝被人們嘲笑，認為愚忠和愚孝使到中國雖然文明了幾千年，但仍然貧窮落後。今日對多數華人提起孝這個字時，他們不是根本從未聽過這個字，就是誤以為是指盲目服從父母。唉！

更糟的是，愚孝這項指控有一定的憑據：宋朝公元1000年左右開始，有一股長達幾百年的思維潮流，把本來是務實、合理的孝和孔子教導，變為形而上學的、充滿了各種絕對和過分的，狂熱崇拜。除了把尚活著的父母好像神一樣俯拜之外，還有別的錯誤，例如，公元1604年明朝皇帝授意出版的《二十四孝》版本，就有一個所謂模泛孝行故事，說一位“孝子”為了要把食物節省下來給父母吃，就要把自己的兒子殺掉。

這種“模泛孝行”，根本完全違背了孔子的原來教導。孝要求非常珍惜後代：一個人沒有後代（“無後”）是對父母和祖先極端不孝的。而且，子女孝的反面就是父母慈，所謂的“親慈子孝”。另外，《孝經》裡孔子說，要孝，要對父母和祖先好，開始就是要珍重自己的身體和健康。這就證明了在孔教裡，父母和祖先是多麼愛護後代的：後代的人把自己照顧得好，才是對父母和祖先好（孝）的開始。孝又怎麼會容許把孫兒後代殺掉來節省食物給祖父母吃呢？絕對不會的！這種“模泛孝行”是完全越軌的。

雖然清朝早期和中期二百年間即公元1640至1840年左右，《弟子規》等書本的普及和思維潮流普遍地或多或少擺脫前幾百年的過分狂熱崇拜，為孝重新帶來了一些合理化，但是環繞着孝，人們仍然保留了一些狂熱崇拜思想，在一定程度上導致孝這個概念在二十世紀裡受到了全面評擊和否定。

今天，這些錯誤的狂熱崇拜思想都屬於過去的事情了，我們不要把它當作是孝的組成部分。今天我們要恢復的，是《孝經》裡孔子對孝的原來定義，和歷史上孝在中國所作出的優良作用。

結論

我們認為，孝，即對父母和祖先好，的確是文明社會非常重要的基礎和人們行為合乎道德的有力保障。孝是所有人而不單只是華人所需要的，是適合現代的中國和世界的。為了把孝復興，我們成立了這篇關於孝的網頁。敬請閱讀及提供寶貴的意見。