Introduction

Xiao or being good to parents and ancestors is a basic tenet of traditional Chinese society and therefore fundamental to the Chinese heritage. It is not possible to understand traditional Chinese society, Chinese history, or the Chinese heritage in general without some understanding of xiao. Further, once one understands the true meaning of xiao, one will realize that it is suitable and beneficial for not only China and Chinese, but also for the world and everyone in it.

The True Meaning of Xiao

Let us first examine the true meaning of xiao.

How to be good to parents is thought by most people to be pretty obvious, to be something they already know how to do, but actually it's not necessarily obvious, nor is it necessarily something they already know how to do.

First, how can one be good to already deceased ancestors? Do they still possess consciousness? Does xiao require that we believe in spiritual beings and a supernatural world? No, Confucianism's xiao does not have a religious prerequisite and is compatible with any religious belief or lack of belief. To be good to ancestors is, first and foremost, to be good to their memory and their name. Whether one thinks that ancestors still possess consciousness, or are to be prayed to, is up to the individual; whether one believes that the ancestors' spirits exist or not is not that important, as long as one is good to their memory and their name, then the same kind of conduct consistent with xiao naturally appears. And conduct that is good to one's ancestors' memory and name is conduct that is good, conduct that is moral, and includes conduct in all aspects in life.

Actually in Confucianism being good to one's parents, like being good to one's ancestors, is also, first and foremost, being good to their name and reputation. Again, that means that xiao guides all of one's conduct toward what is good, including conduct while at one's post at work, not just conduct involving direct contact with one's parents.

Here we must make clear that conduct involving direct contact with one's parents like respecting parents, looking after the daily living of parents , and supporting and caring for aged parents, is very important in Confucianism. This is conduct where offspring know and repay the kindness bestowed by parents and sensed directly by the offspring, kindness such as loving the offspring, looking after the daily living of offspring, and raising and educating offspring while they come of age. Knowing and repaying kindness is a fundamental principle guiding relations among people in Confucianism, a fundamental traditional Chinese ethic, and of course an important integral part of xiao.

Because, however, xiao's first principle is to be good to the name and reputation of parents and ancestors, therefore the authoritative Confucian classic Xiao Jing does not expound xiao as only a fine ethic where one repays the kindness of parents in raising and educating one, or as a "filial (son's) piety" state of mind as the West's prevalent translation of xiao would have one believe, but as a way of life. Xiao is a way of life that makes people behave as good persons and live moral lives.

Xiao Is the Guarantee of Civil Society and Moral Conduct

If everyone follows this way of life, a good society will naturally result. That is how xiao causes a society to be civil and people's conduct to be moral. Therefore, in the original classics of Confucianism, especially in Xiao Jing, xiao is the basis of civil society itself and the guarantee of moral conduct.

With xiao, even if one does not believe in an afterlife or that there is an omniscient God who always knows whether one is doing right or wrong, one will do good and not evil even in the face of adverse consequences because to fulfill one's relationship-defined obligations to one's parents and ancestors, i.e. to carry out xiao, one must contribute to keeping the family name good and not besmirch it. And that family name goes on, even after one's life is over. Thus, with xiao, people with no religion or even atheists will also be good people, will also make sacrifices for what is moral and just.

Because in traditional China xiao has been the pillar of good order and good behavior in society, therefore even emperors must possess xiao in order to possess legitimacy as rulers. In fact, the posthumous honorific titles of almost all Chinese emperors, except some early ones and the founders of dynasties, include the word xiao^{Note 1}. By the way, this again shows that one cannot understand historical China without understanding xiao.

For an authoritative description by Confucius of xiao as a way of living a good life, being a good person and bringing about a good society, please click here to read: Xiao Jing (with English translation and commentary).

Three Reasons Why Xiao Is So Important

So the reasons why traditional China has placed so much importance on xiao may be summarized as the following three points:

1. Xiao leads people to persist in good behavior because to be xiao one must be good to the reputation of one's parents and the name and memory of one's ancestors.



2. Xiao leads people to become good people, because when one respects and treats one's parents and ancestors well, one also learns to respect and treat other people well, and will then naturally become a good person. For example, the emperor who is xiao naturally extends his respect and good treatment of his parents to his subjects. In this way when enough people in a society practice xiao, that society becomes a civil and moral one.



3. Xiao leads people to "know kindness (zhi en" and "repay kindness (bao en)". From knowing the kindness of parents and repaying their kindness one learns to know the kindness of others and repaying their kindness. And this knowing and repaying kindness is an important part of a person's basic conscience, as well as an important part of the basic principle underlying human relations in human civilization and the operation of human civilization itself. From the modern point of view, this basic principle, a principle upon which human civilizaion has relied to come into existence and to continue existing, is that people must, in order to help each other by each doing different work, exchange mutually beneficial actions and objects. Knowing and repaying kindness is an important integral part of this principle of mutually beneficial exchange.

Xiao Is Suitable for Modern China and the Entire World

The above three points make xiao not only suitable for and beneficial to traditional China throughout history, but also suitable for and beneficial to modern China. Today's China still badly needs a guarantee as strong as what xiao has historically provided, of the civility of the social order and the morality of people's behavior.

As for being suitable for the world, xiao is not based on any one religion and so is compatible with any religion. Historically, Imperial China, which holds xiao as its basic belief, has been compatible with and has taken in many religions and their adherants, religions such as Islam, Christianity, Zoroastrianism, Judaism, and so forth. The tenet of xiao does not have any fundamental conflict with any religious doctrine, and can be accepted into and complement any religion's doctrine. For example, traditionally the Christian churches in China have always mentioned and stressed xiao, unlike those in the West. Buddhism, which comes from India, once rooted in China, also comes to stress xiao. Therefore xiao and its three points mentioned above is compatible with any society or country in the world.

Even when that society or country already has a fairly effective belief system to guarantee the civility of the social order and the morality of people's behavior, such as a very widely practiced religion, xiao can still complement and strengthen this guarantee. With xiao a religious society will become even more civil and the people will become even more moral.

At the individual level, the same benefits hold for a religious person.

At the same time, since xiao is not religious, it is also compatible with a society that is not that religious. Indeed, although traditional China has not been an atheist society and people have generally believed that "look three feet up and there's god" and that "retribution will take place whether it's during this life or the next", the practice of religion and the worship of god have not constituted the main activities that govern society, nor have organized religion and priests held socially recognized political power or ruling positions. Traditional China has, very uniquely in the history of world civilization, been a society that hasn't been very religious. Yet xiao has not only been compatible with but has also been a guiding principle for this society.

Likewise, at the individual level, the tenet of xiao is compatible with anyone who is not that religious or is even atheist.

So, xiao is suitable not only for traditional Chinese society for the last several thousand years, not only for modern Chinese society today, but also for the whole world and everyone in it. With today's decline in morals and ethics, xiao is more needed than ever.

Xiao Has Been Wrongly Denigrated During Modern Chinese History

Unfortunately, over the past century xiao has been so denigrated by various intellectual forces that it is now identified in many Chinese people’s minds with yu xiao (愚孝), i.e. foolish or blind xiao. Especially since the 1920’s, blind xiao is laughed at and considered along with yu zhong (愚忠), i.e. foolish or blind loyalty, to be the reasons for China being backward and poor despite all the thousands of years of civilization. Mention xiao to a Chinese person today, and chances are he or she will either not know the word at all or think that it means blind obedience to parents. Sigh!

To make matters worse, there is some truth in the charge of foolish blind xiao: since the 1000’s C.E. during the Song Dynasty, there has been an intellectual movement lasting several centuries to convert xiao and Confucian teaching in general from a set of practical and reasonable tenets into a metaphysical cult of absolutes and excesses. Besides an almost god-like worship of one's parents while they are still alive, there are other errors. For example, the version of the book The Twenty-Four Xiao (“二十四孝”) published in 1604 during the Ming Dynasty under the emperor’s patronage, has a story supposedly about exemplary xiao where the protagonist, in order to spare food for his parents, goes to kill his own son.

This kind of “exemplary xiao” is completely opposite to Confucius’ original teachings. Xiao demands valuing the next generation very highly: to not have offspring is to be extremely un-xiao to one's parents and ancestors. Also, the flip side of xiao by the offspring is kindness by the parents: qin ci zi xiao (亲慈子孝), i.e. “parents be kind; sons be xiao.” Confucius says in Xiao Jing that looking after one’s own body and health is the beginning of xiao. This proves how much the parents and ancestors in Confucianism love their descendants: the beginning of being good to parents and ancestors, i.e. xiao, actually is for the descendants to look after themselves well! How can xiao allow the killing of the descendants, the grandchildren, to spare food for the grandparents? Xiao absolutely cannot. That "exemplary xiao" is totally aberrant.

While during the two hundred years of early and mid-Qing Dynasty (1640’s to the 1840’s) reasonableness is somewhat restored by the popularization of such tracts as Di Zi Gui (弟子规) and a general intellectual trend away from the cultish excesses of the previous five centuries or so, some cult-like thinking has still revolved around xiao, and is partly responsible for the vulnerability of the entire concept to wholesale attack and denigration during the twentieth century.

Today, such erroneous cultish excesses belong to the past; we must not treat them as integral parts of xiao. What we need to revive today is the meaning that Confucius has originally set for xiao in Xiao Jing and the tremendous positive role that xiao has always played historically in China.

Conclusion

We that think xiao is indeed a most important foundation of civil society and a strong guarantee of moral behavior, is much needed by everyone, not just Chinese, and is suitable and beneficial to both China and the world today. To revive xiao, we have started this xiao webpage. Please peruse and feel free to send us your valued comments.

引言

孝，即对父母和祖先好，是传统中国社会的根本信条，中华文化遗产的基本部分。不了解孝，就不可能了解中国传统社会、中国历史、或中华文化遗产本身。同时，当了解孝的真正意义时，就会知道，孝不但适合和有益于中国及华人，而且也适合和有益于全世界及所有的人。

孝的真正意義

我们首先解说一下孝的真正意义。

对父母好很多人都以为很简单，自己已经知道应该怎样做，其实，并不一定简单，可能完全不知道应该怎样做。

首先，怎样对已经过世的祖先好呢？他们难道还有知觉吗？难道孝要求我们信仰神灵和超自然世界吗？不，孔教的孝，没有宗教的必需前提，是可以跟任何宗教的信仰或没有信仰相容的。对祖先好首先就是要对他们遗留下来的名声好。认为他们还有没有知觉，需不需要祷告，任由个人决定；相信祖先有灵也好，没有灵也好，总之只要对他们遗留下来的名声好，那么同样的、符合孝的行为就会出现了。而要对祖先的名声好，就必须要所有方面的行为都好、都合乎道德。

同时，孔教里，对父母好跟对祖先好一样，也是首先要对父母的声誉好，所以孝所引导向善的，是人们的全部行为，包括在工作岗位的行为，而不仅只是直接与父母接触时的行为。

当然，直接与父母接触时的尊敬父母、生活上照顾父母、奉养年老的父母等行为，孔教是非常重视的。这都是子女知道而报答父母恩典的行为，子女报答直觉上可以体会到的父母爱护子女、生活上照顾子女、教养年幼的子女等恩典。而知恩报恩，是孔教关于人与人之间关系的基本原则，是基本的传统中华美德，也同时是孝的重要组成部分。

但是，孔教的权威性经典《孝经》并不把孝解说为只是限于报答父母养育之恩的美德，或者是一种“子女虔诚”的心态（当今西方普遍把孝译为“儿子的虔诚”），而是因为孝首要是对祖先和父母的名声好，所以《孝经》把孝解说为一个生活方式，是一个做好的人、过好的一生的生活方式。

孝是文明社会和道德的保障

如果人人都遵守孝这个生活方式，好的社会就会自然构成了。这样，孝令到社会文明、人们行为合乎道德。因此，在孔教的原本经典里，特别是在《孝经》里，孝是文明社会本身的基础、人们行为合乎道德的保障。

有了孝，连不信来世存在的人，不信无所不知、审判善恶的神明存在的人，都会做好事而不做坏事，虽然有时做好事会带来不利的后果，因为要履行对父母及祖先的义务和责任，要行孝，就一定要保持家声，不让它被污垢。而这个家声是长久的，个人的生命过去后家声还是延续的。有了孝，没有宗教的人，甚至信仰无神论的人，也一样会做善良好人，也一样会为正义作出牺牲。

因为传统中国里，孝是社会好秩序和好行为的支柱，所以连皇帝都必需拥有孝，才能拥有统治者身份的合法性。事实上，几乎所有中国皇帝，除了中国历史早期的皇帝和创始朝代的皇帝以外，谥号都有个孝字^注1。顺便说，这再次证明，不了解孝，就不可能了解历史上的中国。

要细看孔子的权威性解说，对父母和祖先好是怎样会使人们做好的人、过好的一生、构成好的社会，就请在这里点击读看：《孝经》(附英語翻譯和解說)。

使孝非常重要的三项理由

所以，传统中国这么重视孝，原因可以总结为以下的三项：

1. 孝引导人们坚守好的行为，因为要行孝就首先要对父母的声誉和祖先遗留下来的名声、家声好。



2. 孝引导人们做好人，因为当人们学到了对父母和对祖先尊敬和善待时，也同时学到了怎样对所有人尊敬和善待，便会自然地变为一个尊敬他人、善待他人的好人。例如，行孝的皇帝自然会把对父母的尊敬和善待延及到臣民身上来。这样，当社会有足够的人行孝，就会自然地变为文明的和有道德的社会。



3. 孝引导人们“知恩”和“报恩”：由对父母的知恩和报恩学到了对其他人的知恩和报恩，而知恩报恩是人们基本良心的重要组成部分，也是文明社会里，人与人关系及社会运作基本原则的一个重要组成部分。这个人与人关系及社会运作的基本原则，就是人们之间要交换互利互惠的行动和物品，分工合作，人类文明社会才能成立起来和延续下去，而知恩报恩就是这个互利互惠原则的重要组成部分。

孝适合现代中国和全世界

上述这三项不但曾经适合和有益于历史上的传统中国，而且仍适合和有益于现代的中国。当今的中国，社会秩序的文明和人们对道德的遵守，仍然非常需要一个好像孝那样有力的保障。所以，在中国恢复孝的传统重要地位是最合适不过的了。

至于适合世界，孝是不基于某一个宗教的，可以跟任何宗教相容。历史上，以孝为基本信条的帝皇朝代中国，曾经跟过多种宗教及其信徒相容共处，例如伊斯兰教、基督教、拜火教、犹太教等。孝这信条，跟其他宗教没有根本冲突，可以受其他宗教接纳，用来补充教条。例如中国的传统基督教会就跟西方的基督教会不同，就一向都提及和强调孝。从印度传来的佛教，在中国树了根之后，便变为也强调孝了。所以孝和上述的孝三项，可以跟全世界任何社会或国家相容。

尽管一个社会或国家，已经拥有相当有效的信仰系统来保障社会秩序文明、保障人们遵守道德，例如很普遍信奉的宗教，但是孝仍然可以把这保障补充和加强。加上了孝，普遍信奉宗教的社会会变得更文明、人们会变得更遵守道德。

在个人方面，孝对一个信仰宗教的人来说，也起着同样的好作用。

同时，孝是不基于宗教的，所以亦可以跟不很重视宗教的社会相容。事实上，传统的中国社会虽然不是无神论的社会，人们普遍相信“举头三尺有神明”和“报应今生不报来世报”，但是宗教和信奉神并不属于支配和统治社会的主流活动，宗教组织和神职人员也没有社会认可的政治权力或统治地位。传统中国在世界文明史里就很独特地是一个不大重视宗教的社会，而孝在这社会里不仅受到相容，而且还担任了主导地位。

同样地，在个人方面，孝可以跟不很重视宗教或甚至信奉无神论的人相容。

所以，孝不仅适合经历了几千年的传统中国社会，不仅仍然适合现代中国社会，而且适合全世界的社会，也适合全世界的人。现在道德沉沦，孝比以前更为人们所需要。

孝在近代中国曾被错误地否定

不幸，近一百年来，孝被很多股思维势力所否定，令到今天孝在很多华人心目中变成只是“愚孝”。特别是1920年代以来，跟“愚忠”一起，愚孝被人们嘲笑，认为愚忠和愚孝使到中国虽然文明了几千年，但仍然贫穷落后。今日对多数华人提起孝这个字时，他们不是根本从未听过这个字，就是误以为是指盲目服从父母。唉！

更糟的是，愚孝这项指控有一定的凭据：宋朝公元1000年左右开始，有一股长达几百年的思维潮流，把本来是务实、合理的孝和孔子教导，变为形而上学的、充满了各种绝对和过分的，狂热崇拜。除了把尚活著的父母好像神一样俯拜之外，还有别的错误，例如，公元1604年明朝皇帝授意出版的《二十四孝》版本，就有一个所谓模泛孝行故事，说一位“孝子”为了要把食物节省下来给父母吃，就要把自己的儿子杀掉。

这种“模泛孝行”，根本完全违背了孔子的原来教导。孝要求非常珍惜后代：一个人没有后代（“无后”）是对父母和祖先极端不孝的。而且，子女孝的反面就是父母慈，所谓的“亲慈子孝”。另外，《孝经》里孔子说，要孝，要对父母和祖先好，开始就是要珍重自己的身体和健康。这就证明了在孔教里，父母和祖先是多么爱护后代的：后代的人把自己照顾得好，才是对父母和祖先好（孝）的开始。孝又怎么会容许把孙儿后代杀掉来节省食物给祖父母吃呢？绝对不会的！这种“模泛孝行”是完全越轨的。

虽然清朝早期和中期二百年间即公元1640至1840年左右，《弟子规》等书本的普及和思维潮流普遍地或多或少摆脱前几百年的过分狂热崇拜，为孝重新带来了一些合理化，但是环绕着孝，人们仍然保留了一些狂热崇拜思想，在一定程度上导致孝这个概念在二十世纪里受到了全面评击和否定。

今天，这些错误的狂热崇拜思想都属于过去的事情了，我们不要把它当作是孝的组成部分。今天我们要恢复的，是《孝经》里孔子对孝的原来定义，和历史上孝在中国所作出的优良作用。

结论

我们认为，孝，即对父母和祖先好，的确是文明社会非常重要的基础和人们行为合乎道德的有力保障。孝是所有人而不单只是华人所需要的，是适合现代的中国和世界的。为了把孝复兴，我们成立了这篇关于孝的网页。敬请阅读及提供宝贵的意见。